Monday, September 26, 2011

Taste this and tell me if it tastes funny to you...

Before I even get into my asinine story, can we ponder why we ask for others input this way? I mean, really, why does the two week old Chinese food need to be confirmed "stinky" by two people? Is it that we like sharing unpleasant experiences that much? Given what I know about other people, yes.. I think we like finding someone to wallow in the mess with us. Or, from my past experiences, I like to measure exactly how stinky the expired milk is by their facial expression. That's always a fun experiment. It is somewhat like the little pain scale at the doctor's office.

0- Hmm, this milk smells delightful. Please pass the cheerios.
10- BLAHGJKLDJFA; Why did you get me to smell that? Why is that still in there? That is from last year. It's hard!

Anyway, on to the real story. I was home from college one winter break, and was on my typical "break" schedule of wake up late, maybe work out, and then watch TV while taking breaks every hour to see what my parents had to eat (like it was going to change from the last hour). During my first day home, I started my grazing immediately when I woke up. I came downstairs and laid on the couch for a while, and then started pestering my mom about food.

She let me know that we had some "Mississippi State Cheese" in our fridge.

No, this is not the joke in the story. We really did have some cheese from Mississippi State. It is a luxury my grandparents send us during the holidays and it is sommmmmmeee good. You should contact your local A and M and see what type of dairy delicacies you could be sending your loved ones this holiday season.

The words "Mississippi State Cheese" had me off the couch and into the kitchen immediately. I rummaged around in the fridge until I found the beautiful wheel. I cut off a few bites, ate them in the kitchen and then grabbed a hand full of crackers and headed back into the living room with some more hunks of cheese. I was a few pieces in when I realized that something was awry. Something was wrong with that cheese. It was just a little off.

I interrupted my mom's emailing again and asked her to taste a piece of cheese.
"Cause it tastes funny, that's why. Here- just taste it. Tell me what you think."

My mom took a bite of the cheese and looked at me with a mixture of pity and sheer humor.

I got impatient with this smarter than you/you are a dumbass look and demanded to know what it was all about.

"Leila, that cheese tastes funny because it's not cheese.

It's butter."

I immediately realized how greasy my mouth was and tried to spit out the nastiness with a couple of expletives as my mother cracked up (rightfully so).

In my defense (not like this is an appropriate time to try to defend myself, but I am stubborn and don't like to look too stupid), the butter I was eating was in the shape of a wheel. It looked like a stupid cheese wheel. It was the holidays and my mom was cooking a lot, and she decided to buy some fancy butter, which I then decided to eat...... like cheese.

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