Monday, December 5, 2011

My Friend Has Massive Sneezes

Or at least she did at one incredibly inopportune time.

In undergrad, there was an area on campus where everyone would hang out. It was great for people watching and around lunch time was always packed with kids and the inevitable weird locals (like the Uncle Rico types from Napoleon Dynamite).

My friend and I were heading back to the dorm after class, which included a stroll through the cool kids area, in front of all of the lookie-loos. Right as we made it to the exact spot where we were best exposed to all of our classmates, the wind started blowing she had a humongous sneeze. That ended up all over me.

I was mortified but couldn't figure out the most appropriate reaction. Should I play it off? How do you even play that off? Should I pretend like it didn't happen? Like no one can see the snot and spittle flecks on me? Should I return the favor and sneeze all over her when the wind was blowing just right to bring it from my mouth and nose directly to her face when we were in front of a gajillion people? That's just weird. And impossible. (But I'll pretend like the fact that returning the favor is weird is the reason that I didn't ever try to get her back).

I actually just turned really red, cussed loudly (take out "Bless" from "Bless you" and put in another word), and sped back to my dorm hoping that I was not cool enough for anyone to have actually been looking at me at that point.

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