Tuesday, May 8, 2012

"Artistic Movies" are so in right now

P.S. (As in pre script... yeah I just made that up- deal with it) Spoiler alert!!! If you have not seen or read The Hunger Games yet and are going to act like this blog revealed some secret plot line for you- don't read it. Also, move out from the rock you have been living under and join society. P.S. (as in post script to my pre script)- in the movie Titanic, the ship sinks. 

I recently went to see The Hunger Games with a friend of mine. We had both read the books and I had already seen the movie, but I told him I would go again if he wanted to see it. The point is- we both know how the story went.

About ten minutes into the actual games, the sound in the theater went haywire. You could hear all of the auxiliary noise but none of the characters voices. Therefore, the scene where the fire balls chase Katniss out of the woods went something like this:

*Birds chirping*
*Katniss asleep in a tree*
Apparently something wakes her up (we're not sure what because we can't hear it)
*Birds keep chirping*
*Katniss freaks and starts running*
*Sounds of whoosh and some crackle as we see flames engulfing surroundings*
*Katniss gets hit with big ass fire ball shrapnel* She is apparently in a lot of pain by her tightened face and open mouth, but we don't hear a gasp.

It goes on like this for a while.

During the scene where Cato and the clan are running around together with mouths open- I lean over to my friend and said "They should have closed captions- *Screaming* *Ahhh**Ahhh*"

During the scene where Rue gets Katniss' attention and tells her about the tracker jacker nest nearby, I made a crude comment about what Rue was saying (she's mimicking a sawing action).

This solely background noise kept going and going and was getting old quickly. People started leaving the theater and I looked at my friend and said "This noise thing is starting to piss me off."

Finally, we got to the scene where Rue is dying and having a conversation with Katniss- which we can hear none of. At this point, my friend- in the middle of an epiphany- looked over and loudly said "OOOHHHH- THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH THE NOISE." It was dark in the theater, but there was no mistaking my "Areyoukiddingmeyoudumbass" look.

"Really?" I asked him.
"I thought they were doing an artistic approach or something."
"Really?" I asked him again.
"Well why didn't you say anything to me? I didn't know. I hadn't seen it before."

There are a few states of impairment- both hereditary and self induced- that this type of total unawareness is acceptable. And my friend was mostly unimpaired (mostly). His unawareness was totally unacceptable. I toyed with the idea of making him totally unaware of the fact that his ride left him when he went to the bathroom (you know- just a little "don't be dumb" lesson). Instead, I gave him a ride home, and dissected his stupidity the entire way.

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