Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Puppy Guts

It is a well known fact that puppies will eat until you take their food away from them or they fall asleep, head down, in their bowl. Unfortunately, I sometimes find myself behaving like a young pup and, aiming for the highest level of gluttony, will eat grotesque amounts of food only to find myself too uncomfortable to sleep and too sleepy to do anything else.

I recently had one of these days.

I was on my feet all day at work and had taken to slight grazing which wasn't too shameful. I consumed a full lunch which was filling, but not uncomfortably so. The two cookies that I could have done without after lunch still did not put me over the edge. Nor did the peanut butter on a spoon that I ate when I got home.

It was the beer and the profuse amount of sushi that I consumed at dinner with friends that did it to me. So much so that I left my credit card with a friend and announced to the table that I had to go home to unbutton my pants. Bloated, I made it out to my car and lethargically drove home while pondering if, indeed, I am as charming as I think I am. Maybe I'm never charming, but I'm sometimes ravenous, and I'm always honest. That has to count for something. At least it counted for me getting away from the table and out of my skinny jeans before the check came.

1 comment:

  1. "maybe I'm never charming, but I'm sometimes ravenous, and I'm always honest" - life motto? epitaph?

    PS I may or may not have unbuttoned my pants at the table before. So necessary to fit more food!

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