Tuesday, August 9, 2011

A Direct Message from the Karma Gods...

My parking situation at work is not ideal. There is only street parking and when school is in session, finding a parking place within a five minute walk to work is a blessing. In fact, one time I almost killed a biker while I was pulling into a spot. I was too busy trying to beat my coworker to the spot to notice any pedestrian action going on around me. We both saw the open space and made U-turns to get it, and I pulled out in front of a car and zoomed into the spot. Was it worth almost knocking that man straight off his bike? Maybe.

Needless to say, summer brings the joy of a few extra minutes of sleep and access to a lot more parking. However, my coworkers and I still get excited when we see that perfect spot- NOT in a 2 hour parking zone, and only a stone's throw away from the front steps of work.

Therefore, a few months ago, when I saw one of these parking spaces that came with a "is this too good to be true" moment, I pinched myself- realized it was true- and then put on my blinker to parallel park.

At this point in the story, I think you should know that my "Driver's Education" consisted of me driving my "instructor" to the mall and us going shopping for a cowboy hat for his girlfriend. The majority of that two hour driving session was spent between Spencer's and PacSun. Needless to say, parallel parking was not a high priority in my education. This does not mean that I do not know how to parallel park. I can and I often do. But if I am in a high stress situation (e.g., the Mercedes SUV behind me pulls straight up my butt and then loses patience and speeds around me while scraping their wheels on the curb by the street car line), I get a little unnerved and don't perform my best p-park job ever.

So after the Mercedes a-hole sped away, I calmed down and backed my car into the spot and slightly bumped the car behind me. (They're called bumpers for a reason, right? Right?) I got out of my car- looked for any scuffs or scrapes and saw nothing. I exhaled out of relief and leaned into my car to grab my bag as I noticed something move out of the corner of my eye.

A bobble head doll.

Of Jesus.

On the dashboard of the car behind me.

Shaking his head while casting his judgmental gaze upon me.

"Awww Christ," I murmured as I walked my incredibly short walk to work, "this is going to be a really bad Wednesday."

1 comment:

  1. I also have a poor parking situation at work. The closest lot is, I would approximate, about .3ish miles away from my building - a good 7 minute walk. Also, Pennsylvania winters are harsh.

    Over the summer, the close lot was closed, so I had to park in the lot that is no fewer than .5 miles away from my building.

    I also feel you on the parallel-parking-under-stress situation. I hate when people are standing on the sidewalk near my prospective spot. I can NEVER park well under pressure.